Aimless voice, you are nothing.

Direction, you are nothing. 

Taking strides down our throats, you are nothing. 

Simmering, burning, my tongue feels no hurt, I am nothing. 

Haunted mouth, you are nothing. 

Crooked eyes, you are nothing.

I’m going to leave this place tonight. 

Im going to flee the scene like a crowd of ambulances after a murder’s been seen.

I’m going to be completely and utterly incoherent like a lazily languaged teen.

I’m going to apologize, because my body knows why I’m mean, rude, bad at grammar, insufficient, ugly, melting, falling over, a fucking asshole…

I’m going.

Can we just be friends?

This jealousy seems to be climbing up our chests.

It’s squeezing though our rib cages, its breaking necks just to flood our thoughts.

Don’t let it become your heart.

Can we just be friends?

WE ARE SPEAKING WORDS, NEVER HEARD BEFORE. WHORES OF LANGUAGE, A BITTER SILENCE BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. 

Righteous acronyms and holy synonyms. Religious antonyms with contradictory followings. Are you confused yet? Because I am. Subconsciously, releasing a liturgical language laced with larcenous innuendos. Lately, I’ve been caught thinking about this. And lately seems to be every day. So take me just for a moment and I’ll never speak this way again. Fuck. Shit. God damn it. Cursed words? prefixed plans. The suffix sank the ship. A wall of words closing in on both sides of this vessel. “Drink me in. Spit me out. In one ear, out the mouth.” I’m SORRY FAMILY, FRIENDS, and BETTER HALVES OF MY LIFE I PRETENDED TO LIVE OUT AGAIN. You see, these words overshadow me like the cool kids at school, like a woman getting robbed right in front of me, presently, pastly, like Moses floating down the Nile asking me, “what are you gonna do?!” CHILD OF GOD. CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH. Using language like a drug to attain a high! WHAT are you going to do!? I’ll prescribe this pill in secret, sell it to my friends, sell it like it matters at all. AND IN THE END when I have to talk to my Father my sentences will run on and on and on… like a poorly written love song, my chorus will be long and my verses overdrawn. Take me Jesus, keep me from running on. Take me Jesus, I want to move on. GET ME OUT OF THIS MESS. IS THAT NOT WHAT YOU DO? WELL FUCK SHIT. AND GODDAMN IT.  Darling, your eyes are as calm as the sea when you look at me. why do you do this to me. Don’t be okay with what I say. Don’t be fine with what comes out of this mouth, because it’s a DISGRACE when you think about what took place. 

Grace.

and in the end, when I meet my father, face to face, I will call him abba. I will call him lover. I will call him the only person who listened to my anger. Despite, the misuse of His name. My sentences will run on, on, on. So fuck the shit. And damn, I’ve had it.  

Steal my mouth and cut out my tongue because I am done.

We didn’t always talk, but I always listened. I could tell by your tone when things weren’t okay. Now all we do is pray over this sickness, pray it’d go away.

It’s been seven years since I first met you, and seven years wasted with subtle hints. We could have been growing closer. Instead, we were wearing thin.

Now’s February, January’s gone. and it’s the fourteenth day of this god-awful month. I’ve got valentine’s cards I’ve kept since we were young. Never lost hope, I never did.

Nurses tend to your wounds, I’m okay, I’ve only been bruised. Hospital rooms were home to you, pretty faces did their best to comfort you. You’re a hearse and you move too slow, supposedly cursed, preferably outgrown. I know. 

Back to dancing every chance you get. present, but mentally I’m still a mess. I should have told you how I felt and what it meant. 

Certainty is as close as we’ll ever get, and I’m certain that you’re trying to let it pass. Seasons go by us and our words get stronger, but never did we speak truth, no. Never did we answer, no we don’t. 

Now shes a graduation away from being out of my way, grace, I cannot let her go.

To the prowess, patient hands. 

the harmless, the haunting can 

do to each other, soft as a feather, 

insults, deliver them. 

ghost notes, a symphony, 

a heartfelt and plying plea.

Voices like whispers, ungodly shape shifters

however friendly they could be. 

Oh, they could be.

Placing the memories, your tattered, missing the final piece, scatter the taunting teeth, a white you’ve only seen in your dreams. Closet doors made of glass, they mask, disguising the monsters you lack. Children believe in ghosts, cause I’ve got my own, scatter the memories, can you place them please?

Run your lungs dry 

Catch a breath, you’ll be alright

Sink the steady nights

Raise a buried body high 

If this is a new reply

Let us be mortified, shaken by

the sinking of a steady life.  

Solid ground. grass between my hands. Soiled, bland. grass between my hands. Smile bright. show your teeth, but never bite. Christian takes his time. He speaks but never bites, he never bites, he never.

liquid knives. cover a filthy man. empty, hurting hands. clean a filthy man. The house you built. made with faulty tools. A home for you. A home grown from hollow roots. 

Run your lungs dry 

Catch a breath and

Sink the steady nights

If this is a new reply

Let us be mortified, shaken by

the sinking of a steady life.  

I was following a word that was kept inside a voice, with eyes that scream but never make a noise. from dirty mouths, crooked little lips, is born a heart that grows, but always seems to slip. From a higher place, a lowly estate, a brother comes with scars he can’t replace. But a love like this is much to hard to miss, a love like this is so easily dismissed.

If heavens got room, let them know I’m coming in. You’re a steady breather, steady. I scarce can take it in. So take my hand and I will bring you home.
If heavens got the room, let them know I’m on my way. You’re a slowly waking sleeper, machete steady breather. So cut me open like the blinds, and let them see!

There’s a break in the wind, a voice stronger than your sin, listen to me son, and let it in. The tide keeps rising, along with the horizon, the sun has come, so let it in!

I awake to find my face covered with ocean salt

On my way out the door I stopped in quick to find that you were never fit

To feel your arms buried in, closed within a box stained of glass

And the moss crept around your neck you choked on vines wrapped around your limbs

You ran from the soil, swam through the dirt, the miles you crawled without a hand 

You were at the kitchen sink bleeding out the blood ran pink

I shadowed through the hallway to make sure that you were okay

You said, “No. No one’s okay”

On the water we saw a casket filled with branches from the dampest trees

You say, “Nothing speaks to me, but the darkest leaves often have words for me.”

I talk to the plastic people, the holy steeple filled with wretched voices

I can feel their torture as if it were mine, like how the sun and the sea leak into one.

Take a cut, take another stab, and take another cut not a care for where it lands

Take me to the river, where it bends, where it bends away from me

You said, “No. No one is clean.”

You were at the kitchen sink bleeding out the blood ran pink

I shadowed through the hallway to make sure that you were okay

You said, “No. No one’s okay”

The broken backs of my eyes, the dirty lies, crooked spines. The smiles you hide behind, the things I never could buy. You opened your mouth as wide, as the sea stretches, it’s over my head. The winter is coming in, to freeze the splinters right off of your skin. My body is wearing thin, I try so hard to be happy, it never works in the end. I wish I could talk to you, with beautiful words, with golden roots, but the devil’s got a hold of you. He’s whispering in your ear, “Let go of the life He had for you”.  It’s never true.